'Nati Naturalista Sonya Moore Talks Accepting Her Natural Beauty
We recently sat done with Sonya Moore, co-founder of 'Nati Naturalistas, a Midwest hair care community that encourages African-American woman to be who they are naturally. As a fellow skinny girl, Sonya shares her story about growing up small and overcoming low confidence in the interview below:
How was your self-esteem growing up as a skinny girl?
My self-esteem growing up was very, very low. It seemed to be a constant, unprompted conversation point, coming from people who weren’t skinny! People felt the need to always comment on the skinniness of my arms and legs without hesitation which was extremely annoying. It happened so often that I developed a serious complex about it and would not wear sleeveless tops during my youth, teenage and young adult years. And, what made it even worse is that I was (and am) only 5’0 so it exaggerated my skinniness and made me look much younger than my age on top of everything else. (You totally don’t want to look young when you are in your 20s). It was a battle all my own because my friends and no one in my household was skinny so I wasn’t taken seriously when I shared my feelings about it.
What do you think are the biggest misconceptions people have about skinny girls?
To me one of the biggest misconceptions is that gaining weight is easy for everyone because it is not! For skinny girls, gaining weight is the exact same struggle as losing weight and people should recognize that and stop dismissing that fact and take us seriously. We all have some type of struggle and it’s not up to someone else to belittle it.
Another misconception for me is that people think calling someone skinny isn’t hurtful. People don’t realize calling someone skinny is just as inappropriate as calling someone fat to their face. It feels exactly the same, believe it or not. It wasn’t until I “broke this down” to someone and it was then that they realized it wasn’t a nice statement.
Another misconception is that just because we are skinny we are in shape. We need to exercise too, so don’t give us the ‘side eye’ when we join an exercise class!
And the last one, (there are so many more) is that don’t assume it’s difficult for skinny girls to find clothes. You know what, it’s not! In this day and age, extra small and small sizes are most likely still hanging on the sales racks due to our “overweight society” - not my words but the words of many publications and studies. And with alternative shopping options, if we can’t find the size in the store, we have success most times ordering online which is becoming more popular anyway.
At what point in your life did you feel most confident and why?
I just now – in my late 30s/40s – became comfortable with my size. I still get comments but they don’t bother me anymore. I reply with my own comment now, such as, “thank you for noticing; I enjoy eating whatever I want in a world where most of the U.S. is on a diet.” The individual is literally dumbfounded when I say that and I simply smile. It’s my way of letting the person know that I am comfortable in my skin. Once I realized that more than half of the United States is struggling with weight gain and I can eat whatever I please and I’m in my 40s, when most are unhappy with their own appearance, I flip what in the past would have been a criticism leaving me sad and flip it into the blessing that it truly is. The size I am, is the size most women are striving to be, because if not, they wouldn’t be on a diet 50% of the time. I love and have embraced my skinniness!
What advice do you have for women who struggle with body image?
My biggest piece of advice is to embrace your size and learn to love and live with what God gave you. Your body is your body. Don’t allow someone else (or society) make you feel inadequate. Turn what you think is a curse into a blessing by looking at all the positive advantages because there many when it comes to being skinny, such as: a) being able to eat all the high-calorie foods and rich-tasting desserts you want without the need to calorie count; b) saving tons of money because you can shop in the junior or even kids' sections for clothes and accessories; and c) knowing many years from now, you will “fill out” perfectly while those who had the shape you wanted “back in the day” are now 50+ pounds heavier and totally unrecognizable. When you run into them, they will tell you, you look the same but you surely won’t be saying the same to them. It’s this very moment when you will be glad you were skinny (and/or still skinny) and have confirmed you’ve embraced your body. Love who you are!
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